As I'm standing on the sidewalk on a gorgeous day, I see a woman walking on the middle of the street with a beautiful white flowy dress. "Who is She?"
She's walking slowly, while gently dragging her feet. She has one hand over her chest, and the other behind her back. She appears to be in pain, sad and hopeless. She looks so familiar. "Who is she?" "Do I know her?" "Have I met her before?"
I'm worried about her; "Hi, are you OK?" "Do you need help?" "Is there anything I can do for you?" She remains walking at a slow, but steady pace. She doesn't react to my presence nor my questions. She doesn't look at me nor stops as I try to get in her way to get her attention. She continues walking in the middle of the street without fear of danger, as if she doesn't care if anything happens to her. She looks sad but determined. It looks like she is on a mission.
Now that I am closer to her, I can see her face. And although she looks familiar, I can't tell who she is. Her face is beautiful, but dirty. She looks like if she's coming from a war zone. The dirt on her face has been washed by two lines of dry tears. She has multiple scars on her body. I can't see her other hand, but I can tell that she is holding something behind her back.
"Who are you?" "What happened to you?" "What are you holding behind your back?" "Where are you coming from?" "Where are you going?" I am still trying to get her attention, but my questions seem to be falling in deaf ears. I must make sure that she is OK and arrives safely to wherever she's going.
Turn, after turn, after turn...I walk beside her at her very slow pace. The way she's walking without care; her bowed head; the sounds of her feet dragging; her hopeless look; her dry tears shining with the sunlight; her hand placed over her chest; her scars; her shallow breathing...I feel her pain and sorrow just by looking at her. Through all this, I am still wondering..."Who is she?"
I can't keep my eyes off her, and suddenly we come to a dead end. I look at our surroundings. The grounds we are standing on are different. It is no longer the earthly street we were on. Everything around us is shining and feels like holy grounds. As I look at her again, she finally looks up. I follow her sight to see what she's looking at. It's a throne. The light is so bright and blinding. I can't see who's on the throne, but I know who it is, and I bow my head as a sign of respect.
"GOD!" The woman yells in sorrow. "Look at me!" she says, while crying and holding her chest in pain. "Look at me GOD!" "Do you see what I've been through?!" "Do you see what they've done to me?!" She then lifts her head revealing a scar on her neck "Look at my neck!" "It has a huge scar!" I approach her and with sympathy I say "It's fine, your scar is healed." She continues to ignore me as if I am not even there. She then shows her feet which are both scarred at the ankles. "Look! Look at my feet." "They are both scarred!" While looking at her feet I say "It's fine, please don't cry." "Your feet are scarred but they are healed." She then continues to cry in pain "I have more scars!" "I have scars on my wrists and on my ribs." "GOD! Do you see me?" "I have been hurt!"
I am profoundly saddened to see how much this woman have been hurt; But I can also see that the wounds are healed. She was hurt by different events and people, but she was no longer being hurt. If I can only find a way to get this across to her.
As I get ready to point this out, she lifts the hand that was placed over her chest revealing an open wound. The wound is open, but settled. It looks like if it's starting to heal. She then finally brings forward her other hand. She's holding a long metal blade. "What are you doing with that?" I ask her. She's not answering to me and instead proceed to stab herself over and over again on the open wound making it bleed. While hurting herself she continues crying and repeating "I have been hurt!" "GOD, I have been hurt!" "I have been hurt so much!"
I'm trying to stop her, but I can't touch her. There's a force between us that allows for me to see her, but not place my hands on her. Feeling helpless I direct myself to GOD who has been seeing everything. I am now in as much pain and sorrow as the woman. I fall on my knees and crying I ask; "GOD, Why is this woman in pain for the scarred wounds that are no longer bleeding?" "Why is she crying when enough time has gone by and her wounds are healed?" "Why is she still dragging her feet and looking down when she's no longer being hurt?" "Why can't she move on when you GOD have already taken her away from everything that was hurting her?" "Why can't she see that the wounds she's crying about are already healed and the only painful wound is the one she is constantly causing to herself?" "Why is she hurting herself when her open wound was already starting to heal?" "Why is she doing this?" "Who is this woman?" "Please GOD!" "Tell me, Who is She?!"
After a brief moment of silence...HE responds to me with a very powerful yet solemn voice "This woman is YOU."
NOTE: I woke up from this dream crying, and thanking GOD for taking me away from the events and the people who have hurt me in the past. I thank GOD because I survived. I thank GOD for a second chance in life. And although, I am scarred by those events, I am no longer in pain. My life is divided to a before and after this dream.
This was the beginning of my healing and the start of a new amazing life.
Many, if not most of us, have been hurt by someone or by an event sometime in our lives. And although, we may no longer be actively hurt by those events, we are left with deep scars and emotional trauma that constantly brings back painful memories.
Holding on to the past makes the pain last longer than it needs to and eventually takes a toll on you and those around you. In order to live a full and complete life, we must learn to let go of the past and not carry it with us into our future. Not letting go makes it harder for us to move on and be happy.
Hanging on to pain, bitterness and disappointment from a past conflict, is a heavy burden. It affects your moods, attitudes, relationships, job and all aspects of your life. Negativity eats away at your self-esteem and destroys any possibility of a life free from pain.
We leave these sad life events with scars. These scars remain in us, not so we may hurt ourselves with painful memories, yet so we may be smart. If someone took advantage of you or hurt you, you should be careful to prevent it from happening again. Forgiving means that you should let it go so you don't have to be miserable thinking about that person or event every day for years to come. Once you move on, taking the appropriate actions at the time something happens will help you be done with the emotion.
Your future doesn’t have to be a repetition of your past. You don't need to be destined to a life of pain, regardless of what you’ve already been through. Now that you are no longer in that situation, you can stop being in pain and lay down your burdens. It’s okay for you to be free. In fact, you deserve it!
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